through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
