I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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