This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize