i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
