I just cut my nipple shaving
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
