So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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