Betty ford says i'm here all night
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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