i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
