Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
