Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
