Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
