Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
