Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
