dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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