I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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