i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
