you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
