Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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