I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
