This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
