I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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