I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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