shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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