New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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