What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
barbara walters just said penis...
i just google imaged poop.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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