Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
