she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
