We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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