I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
