Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I touched a dick in church today
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
