if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
