I hate your face
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
