if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
