it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
