did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
