Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
