Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
