Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
