Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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