all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
