I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
