We need to rekindle our bromance
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize