All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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