We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
wow bdsm is so cute
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
