Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
