he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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