Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The uberlube is also flammable
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
