the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
