I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
