dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize