I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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