drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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