What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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