He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
