I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
