you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
