You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
