Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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