you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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